Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Lillian's First Ballet Class

Well hello there, blog, my old friend - it's been a while.  Oops!  I have no excuses other than the usual: life is busy and I was feeling a little bit of blog burnout.  I have been trying not to feel guilty about the fact that I haven't been documenting as much on my little corner of the Internets lately and have instead been trying to focus my energies on enjoying this time with my babies (which is flying by WAY too quickly)!  Anyway, enough about all of that.  I just dropped by to tell you all about Lilly's first dance class!

Big stuff modeling her new dance outfit.
Lilly loved her gymnastics class, but she would have stayed in the "mommy & me" class at her gym for another year so we thought we'd let her try something new.  She is OBSESSED with ballet and ballerinas and all things pink, so we thought, why not?

I found out about this class from the Mom of one of Lilly's classmates from last school year.  We've had quite a few play dates over the summer and our girls get along really well and love playing together, so when I mentioned that we were thinking of signing Lilly up for a dance class and she told me there was one opening left in her daughter's class, I went for it.  I was a little nervous about this class simply because when I called to reserve our spot and spoke with the teacher (Miss Charlene), she told me that parents can stay for the first class but after that we have to do the "drop and run" and leave the littles with her.  I could tell by talking to Charlene on the phone why the kids love her - she's very dynamic and engaging (also her ringtone is "Hips Don't Lie," she drives a purple car with huge eyelashes over the headlights, and wears enormous fake lashes in crazy colors that the girls think is the best ever).  Miss Charlene told me that she's been teaching dance for 34  years to children ages 2-10 as well as special needs children and that her 2-year-olds are her "sweet treat," so I know Lills will be in good hands, but still I was nervous.

Waiting for class to start.
When I told Lills that she was going to take a ballet class, she was so excited, I can't even tell you.  She immediately wanted to know when she would get ballet slippers, and I told her that Miss Charlene would measure her feet at her first class.  From that point on, any time anyone asked her if she was excited for her ballet class, she would say, "I am going to take ballet!  And Miss Charlene is going to measure my feet for my ballet slippers!"

Today was her first day, so I decided to meet Carney and the kids at the ballet studio and sit in on the first class since I'd never met Miss Charlene in person and I wanted to see what the class was like.  Lilly did awesome (at first, anyway).  I had been so nervous that she would cling to me the whole time, but she did exactly what she was asked to do, she sat with the other little girls and followed instructions and was really exceeding my expectations all around.  Until.




The class is 45 minutes, and Lilly was doing so well that after 20 I decided to sneak out.  I am pretty sure she saw me leave, and I walked to the little store nextdoor to poke around and wait for class to end (BIG mistake - I want to live in that little store and never come out.  I showed tremendous self-restraint in only buying one pair of earrings but seriously could have bought the whole store!).  Carney and Craft walked out a few minutes after I did, and all was well.  We killed 20 minutes in the store and then walked back over to the studio, and opened the door to find poor Lilly practically hyperventilating and in hysterics from crying so hard, sitting in the owner of the studio's lap.  In fact, as soon as the door opened the woman said, "Is Lilly's mommy back yet?"  


Y'all.  "The worst mother in the world" does not even begin to describe how I felt.  I know that I shouldn't beat myself up and that there probably isn't anything I could have done, but I felt sick with guilt for the rest of the afternoon.  I didn't tell her I was leaving, and I kept thinking that maybe that would have helped and she wouldn't have been upset.  Obviously we will never know for sure, but oh my GOSH I felt absolutely terrible.  When we got home, I gave Lills a hug and told her that I was sorry she was upset when she couldn't find mommy at ballet.  She looked at me, sniffled and said, "I'm sorry I cried at ballet."  OMG Y'ALL SHE MAY AS WELL HAVE PUNCHED ME IN THE GUT.  I didn't think it was possible to feel any more guilty until she said that.  !!!!!

I know that she will love this class.  I also know that she will be upset sometimes, that I can't always fix things for her and that I can't always be with her.  All of this will be good for her.  But it still breaks my heart that my baby girl was so upset.  I was telling Stephanie about the events after the fact and she articulated exactly what I've been feeling: that while all of it is good for her, as parents we just never want our children to feel like we let them down.  Oh, the guilt!

This guy, however, had an absolute blast…perhaps because he was surrounded by all of those pretty girls?


I asked Lilly after nap if she had a good time at ballet and if she wanted to go back next week.  She said yes, so I guess that's a good sign.  She also told me that Miss Charlene is funny and nice and that she wants to do ballet by herself.  I don't even know what that means, but I guess I should be happy that she's even still talking about ballet, ha!  I think next week I'll go again, make sure she knows when I'm leaving/tell her goodbye, and let her take lovey in to keep in the cubby as a back up.  Pray for us, y'all.

Hope your holiday weekend was great!  Lilly's lunch is packed, outfit is laid out and chalkboard sign is all ready to go for her first day back to school tomorrow.  Dan aka superdaddy is in the kitchen making some chocolate chip cookies for a lunch box surprise, and I feel sure they need to be taste-tested so I'm out.  :-)


2 comments:

  1. Oh mama, that's so tough! She's ok though! I love her little ballet outfit. I can't believe she's this old already...and that Craft is basically in high school. Geez. I'm beyond on blog reading so I feel like he aged years in the last few weeks.

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    1. Just wait until I can snag a picture of her with her tights and ballet shoes on! I can't stand it. I am so behind on blog reading as well and need to play catch up, but am LOVING all of the instagram photos I am seeing of Mac and Mim!

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