BB3.0 What?!

I can't believe the last time I blogged was February 5!  A lot has happened in the past 8ish months.  For one thing, right before Craft's first birthday we discovered that we were expecting a third little bundle of joy (Surprise!  For all involved!  Seriously.).  Sorry, Baby Boy, that I did not announce your pregnancy on the blog, but it honestly took me almost the entire 9 months of pregnancy to wrap my head around the fact that you were going to be joining our family (but boy are we glad you did, I promise!).

In an effort to make it up to the baby that I did not blog weekly or even monthly pregnancy updates (oops), here is what pregnancy with number three looked like:

4ish weeks

8ish weeks

12ish weeks

13w4d

13w4d

15ish weeks

19ish weeks

21ish weeks

25ish weeks

26ish weeks

30ish weeks

32ish weeks and first NST

35 weeks and all cheeks!

35 weeks

35ish weeks...HOLY BELLY!!!

36ish weeks and mama's last workout before Ward's arrival

37 weeks on the dot..."Labor Day!"

We found out in May that BB3.0 was a BOY!  Big sister Lillian really wanted a baby sister, but quickly got used to the idea that she was going to have a brother.  She dubbed him "Hootie," (pronounced Hoo-Tay).  Sorry in advance, buddy, if that one sticks...

As with my two previous pregnancies, I had some pregnancy-induced hypertension that snuck up on us around the 32-week mark (see above for a pic of the first of what felt like a million NSTs to check in on baby).  I was very lucky in that I was able to avoid bed rest, but I pretty much lived at the doctor's office with twice (sometimes three times!)-a-week visits, ultrasounds, NSTs, etc.  Baby boy was measuring ahead, per the usual, and so the decision was made to induce at 37 weeks.

More on his birth story later (hopefully), but after a long couple of days filled with a LOT of (im)patient waiting, we welcomed Edward David Baum ("Ward") to our sweet family on Friday, September 11, 2015.  Ward was born at 3:52 pm, weighing 8 lbs 9 oz and measuring 21.25 inches long.  Big Sister Lilly and Big Brother Craft were (and continue to be) so sweet and so proud, and we are all so in love.

Sweet Ward

Big sister Lillian loving on her new Baby Brother

Big Brother Craft and "My Baby," as he calls Ward

Baum Squad, Party of 5

Welcome to the world, my sweet boy.  Life as we know it is going to be a wild, crazy ride, but I promise you that it will be so much fun and filled with so much love.   I also promise to try to blog at least twice this year so you don't feel TOO left out on the Baum Squad blog.  :-)  

Ward, I am so, SO blessed that I was chosen to be your mama.

Craft's Birth Story

I decided this morning that I better go ahead and write this post while everything is still semi-fresh or I will never get around to it, much like the Christmas and Halloween posts that I still need to compose and backdate (oops).  I tried to keep a "labor log," if you will, on my phone this time documenting all of the happenings during labor to aid my memory, but it cuts off right before all of the good stuff happens because I am a lucky bia and was blessed with yet another quick labor.  Buckle up because it's another long one...

We were told that the hospital would call sometime between 6:00 and 10:00 am on February 5.  My doctor said she'd never heard of them calling anyone as early as 6am, but when I was induced with Lilly they called shortly after 6am so I was bound and determined to be prepared this time around.  Much like last time around, I did not sleep a wink the night before.  I actually think I was more nervous about this birth, which surprised me.  Maybe it's because I knew what I was in for, or perhaps it's because I knew this baby was gonna be whale-sized - probably it was a little of both.  Anyway, I digress.  I wanted to be ready to go when the hospital called so I got up at 5:00 (I wasn't sleeping anyway) and hopped in the shower.  That way, not only would I be ready to go but I had brushed my teeth, etc. so that my hospital bag was now completely ready to go (more on what I took this time around in another post).  I was ready by 5:30 and wasn't sure what to do with myself, and honestly getting ready exhausted me so I hopped back in bed, ha!  Sure enough, the hospital called at 6:30 and asked us to arrive at 7:30.  Due to morning commute traffic, etc. we needed to leave around 7:00 so I woke Dan up to tell him to get ready.  He got out of bed, went to the bathroom, and then...got back in bed.  Was he serious?!?!  Needless to say, we ran a little late, but luckily no one seemed to care.

We arrived at the hospital at 7:45 and things started moving.  I checked in, had some bloodwork done and had started pitocin by 8:30 am, increasing it every 30 minutes.  My doctor came in around 9:30 to check things out and say hello.  At that time, contractions were 3-5 minutes apart.  We discussed the fact that I knew this baby was big and I therefore definitely wanted an epidural, but I didn't have to have it right that second.  The doctor wanted me to wait until contractions were consistently a little closer together and then break my water prior to the epidural in order to keep things moving.  Contractions were uncomfortable but not unbearable, so I was okay with that plan as long as I was able to get one prior to pushing, ha!

Somewhere in this time frame, I am not sure exactly when, we were talking to our nurse and telling her about what a wonderful experience we had the last time around when I was in labor with Lilly.  We mentioned that we had a nurse that we loved, Rachel, and I said I wasn't sure whether she'd remember us but I would love to say hello.  As it turns out, Rachel had seen our file pulled that morning and mentioned to my nurse that she remembered us and couldn't believe we were already back (us either, sister).  My nurse said she had checked with Rachel and they were both at a good stopping point with their respective patients so Rachel was coming in.  I did not put two and two together at that time that they were switching patients so that I could labor with Rachel again.  The even crazier thing about this situation is that Rachel has taken a job as a Nurse Practitioner at a local OB, and will only be working at the hospital for around another month, so the fact that she was even there that day was a huge coincidence.  I cried and took it as a sign from God that everything was going to be just fine.  From that moment on we referred to Dr. T and Rachel as "The A Team" - they had delivered Lilly and everything was perfect so Dan and I both felt comfortable that this time would be no different.  I cannot even begin to express how much calmer and more comfortable I felt about everything at this point.  I knew from experience that I was in excellent hands!

Fast forward to 10:00 am: contractions were 2 minutes apart and pitocin had been increased to 7.  Ish was getting real here, people.  

As another aside, you may remember from my last labor experience that I had low platelets, which determines whether I can get an epidural.  If your platelets are 100,000 or lower, an epidural is out of the question (something about the blood being too thin, and the fact that they were pumping me with IV fluids meant it had already thinned out substantially even since I'd arrived at 7:45).  2 weeks before, my platelets were on the low side at 140k, but I was still in the clear.  The morning of Craft's birth when my blood was taken around 8am, my platelets had dropped to 102k.  I was still in the clear - barely.  Rachel decided to call the anaesthesiologist to check in.  She explained that typically, patients have (at least) 6 hours to decide whether they want an epidural before bloodwork has to be re-done, so that meant that I should have had until around 2pm to decide.  Dr. T happened to be in the room when Rachel came back in at 10:30 and said that the anaesthesiologist told her I'd have to get my blood re-drawn at 11:00 am.  He was furious and had a few choice words for the anaesthesiologist, which I found to be hilarious (mainly because I was thinking the exact same thing).  He checked me and said that I was around 2.5 cm dilated (he said that Dr. G had "cheated" when she told me 3cm the day before, ha!).  He told Rachel to go ahead and call for my epidural and he broke my water.  At this point he estimated a birth time of somewhere around 4pm (4:37 to be exact).  

After my water was broken (around 10:30 am), things really started to fly and it turns into kind of a blur.  The anaesthesiologist took her sweet time getting to my room, and by the time she arrived my contractions were 30 seconds apart and so painful, I was ready to commit a murder.  Rachel actually had to stop the pitocin for a few minutes to give me a break while I was getting the epidural.  Poor Dan left the room because he hates needles and Rachel was stuck with my blubbering self, I was a mess.  When all of that was over, Rachel checked me again around 11:30 and I was up to 5cm.  Halfway there!  The pitocin was turned back on, and I was able to take a short glorious epidural-induced rest.  About an hour later, I started to feel a lot of pressure.  I didn't feel like I had to push quite yet but I could tell it was getting close.  Rachel checked me again and at 12:40pm I was 9 cm dilated!!!  Almost go time.

I feel like after that I blinked and we had a baby.  I started pushing just after 1pm and after 35 short minutes, Craft was born at 1:38pm.  It was decidedly not a walk in the park and by no means "easy," but the labor itself (read: evacuating the whalephant) was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  His shoulders did get stuck so I needed a little bit of help there, but overall the destruction of the lady parts was (thankfully) very minimal - not really any worse than it was with L, which I find to be incredible.  I guess I'm built to carry and birth whalephants?  Even my nurses said that they knew it had not been easy but that I got out really easy on the destruction front, and they'd seen much, much worse with 9+ lbs babies.  

We did have a slight scare in the form of the umbilical cord being wrapped pretty tightly around Craft's neck.  When he came out he wasn't making any noise, and I got a glimpse of him and noticed that from the neck up he was blue and the rest of his body was normal in color.  Right as I was putting everything together a huge team of doctors and nurses raced in to start working on him, so I knew something was wrong because Lilly didn't have that many people in the room and she was delivered a lot earlier than he was.  I kept asking why he wasn't breathing and everyone assured me that he was fine.  My heart dropped into my stomach and I was in a panic, but after what seemed like an eternity (which was really just 2 minutes), he was breathing and all was right in my world again.  Even more weird was the fact that I had a dream that the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck.  Maybe I'm psychic?!

Anyway, so that's that!  Not too awfully much to it.  Quick labor, painless (for the most part), and baby boy was beautiful and A-OK despite the umbilical cord incident (except for a small issue where he couldn't regulate his blood sugar which luckily resolved itself by late afternoon).  Craft has brought us so much joy already in his short almost two weeks of life, and it's hard to remember what life was like before he was here.  We love this little guy so much, and his big sister is enamored with him and they are so sweet together.  My husband, as usual, was wonderful during labor and has been wonderful ever since, and I am just so mushy in love with our sweet family of four and this beautiful life we've built together.  

The first time I got to hold my baby after they had to help him breathe.  Dan snapped this pic and I love it.

The recovery this time around has been a lot faster.  I think that is partially because I haven't had a choice - Lilly has not slowed down one bit, and I wouldn't have expected her to.  When she was born, she was my only child and so it was okay to sit around all day and hold her and love on her and sleep and recover.  This time around, I did not have that luxury, and as a result I was up and moving a lot more quickly.

If you're even still reading at this point, I'll write more on how we finally agreed on a name (four hours after birth, literally) in another post, because this post is already so long. 

Happy Monday!

Sarah

Welcome to the word, BB2.0!

Craft Robinson Baum was born on Wednesday, February 5, 2014 at 1:38pm.  Our sweet, big, chunky boy tipped the scales weighing 9 lbs 5 oz and 22 inches long.  He is perfect, and we are so in love!

Baby Blues

I don't think I posted on this topic in conjunction with my birth story posts, but I probably should have.  Honestly it didn't cross my mind, but the other day I got an e-mail about it which prompted a discussion between Dan and I that I thought was interesting.

The baby blues are a tricky thing.  At least in my case, I spent 9 months preparing for this baby to come.  I was beyond happy, and SO excited to meet her.  I could not wait to be a mother and was thrilled at the thought of our future and the growth of our sweet little family.  The day Lilly was born was one of the best days of my entire life, hands down.  However, the laboring process itself brings a roller coaster of emotions, and when coupled with your already crazy hormones it can be pretty intense.  I noticed that a few days after she was born, when we were home from the hospital and trying to get settled in, I kept having this nagging feeling of sadness.  I couldn't figure it out.  I had absolutely nothing to be sad about.  I had a relatively easy labor, and I had the most beautiful (and healthy!) little girl in the whole world.  My wonderful husband was beside me every step of the way, and I was more in love with him than ever before after seeing his interactions with our baby girl.  We have the most loving and supportive families that anyone could ask for, and they were here to help us every step of the way.

I think the baby blues are a result of several factors.  For me, these were a combination of:  hormones, exhaustion, disappointment resulting from breast feeding difficulties, disappointment that I birthed a child but still looked pregnant, the stress of a newborn and the balancing act of baby and life in general.  I also missed being pregnant.  I don't think it was the actual being pregnant part - Lord knows I did not miss weeks 30 and on (bed rest, ugh!) - but it was more the feeling of Lilly growing inside of me.  And really, I think I also missed the excitement and anticipation that Dan and I shared leading up to her arrival.

For me, the baby blues only lasted a few days.  I found that going about my business and trying to get back into the swing of things helped a lot.  Showering, getting dressed, and getting out of the house even for just a few minutes did wonders.  I also had to lower the bar for myself and stop being a perfectionist.  Parenting is a learning process, and there is a lot of trial and error.  I know that in giving me the ability to bear children, the Good Lord is trying to teach me to be more patient and less hard on myself.  I also needed to boost my own self-confidence.  All of the help we had was invaluable, but just the thought of my Mom leaving and me being alone had me in tears daily, even when she still had a full week left with us.  It really took me doing it on my own for a few days before I felt like, "Okay, I can do this.  I know what I'm doing, I know what my baby needs, and I know how to take care of her better than anyone else can."  And some days, I just needed a good cry.

Baby blues are another one of those topics which I don't think people really talk about, but I wish they would.  I had no idea that what I was feeling was normal and that the majority of women experience it.  Since I now know, I thought it was important to share.  :-)  And, really, how could I ever let the blues hang around when I get to look at this sweet face every day?!?!

More obnoxious plugging: have you voted for us on top baby blogs today?  Please and thank you!  ;-)

Sarah

What I Learned: Childbirth Edition

Howdy, friends!  I know what you're thinking - I can't believe she's managing to blog twice in two days.  A record as of late, I'm sure!  We have been lazy bums this morning. Hopefully I'm not jinxing it, but I have to tell you that my child slept GREAT last night - thank the Lord we're (hopefully) back to the business of being a good sleeper.  She was only up twice - 2:00 and 5:00 - and both times, she ate and went right back to sleep so we were only up for a little over an hour.  That means I got a three-hour stretch of sleep followed by a two-hour stretch and then another three-hour stretch for a combined total of 8 hours.  It is amazing how much better I feel today as a result, especially coming off of the previous two nights when she decided she didn't want to sleep.  We fed her at 6:00, 8:00 and 10:00 last night (she was an eating machine yesterday - must be a growth spurt because it was every two hours) and tried really hard to keep her awake in between those feedings.  I guess it worked, so we'll keep doing it!  Here's to hoping she keeps this up:

I always get carried away with the cuteness!  The point of this post is to tell you a few things that I learned about the birthing process that I didn't know beforehand.  As I'm sure you have all realized by now, I like to know what I'm getting into - hence all of the research, childbirth classes, books, documentaries, and badgering my friends for details among other things.  Even with all of that, there were still things I learned throughout the process that I didn't know before and thought might be helpful for others.  I guess I should disclaim that obviously all pregnancies and births are different, and these are just my experiences and observations, but here are some things I learned (also fair warning to any male readers, this will likely be on the graphic side, you've been warned):

• Pushing feels like pooping.  I know, that sounds weird.  The one thing you hear everyone say about contractions/labor/birth is about all of the pressure that you feel "down there" - as in, your lady parts.  And it's true.  There is a lot of pressure.  What I did not expect, however, was that when it comes time to push, you feel the pressure more towards your bottom, not so much your lady parts.  Literally, it feels like you are pooping out the baby.  I know that sounds gross and weird and it is hard to wrap your head around until you go through it - it's just something I didn't expect.  The nurse even told me when she was coaching me before my first round of pushing, "when you push it will feel like you're trying really hard to go to the bathroom."  She wasn't kidding.  You learn something new every day, yes?
• Oh, the blood.  There is A. LOT. of blood, not only during the labor but afterwards as well.  During the birth, I didn't really notice it as much (My mind was elsewhere I guess?  LOL) - they lay you on these pads and the nurses change them approximately every 30 seconds.  You may remember from my birth story post that my epidural had mostly worn off by the time my pushing started, so I felt everything there was to feel (Still totally worth it to get the epidural, though, in my opinion, as it helped me conserve my energy through the worst of the contractions so I was less tired for pushing.  Plus it is a miracle drug.).  I am not sure whether this is a result of the adrenaline having kicked in or what, but I honestly don't think the actual birth hurt as bad as afterwards when the nurses were still dealing with the blood.  They came into my room what felt like every 5 seconds to press on my stomach to get more blood out, and to say it was painful would be an understatement.  The other surprising thing about the blood is that it continues after birth - for a while.  My doctor told me to expect it for 4-6 weeks.  Invest in some good pads, ladies.  Side note: remember how I told you I ordered the hospital-grade pads like the ones we took from the hospital because I liked them better than anything else I found, but they only came in a package of 200?  Let's just say it was a good investment - although I'm hoping for closer to four (or less) total weeks of this than six.
• Pain after birth.  My bestie warned about this in her reflections post as well, but I guess maybe it didn't really sink in because I was still surprised.  In the hospital, there are all sorts of fun things they give you so that you don't notice, but since I got home I've been trying not to take the heavy-duty drugs and boy is it unpleasant at times.  I am just now, at two weeks after the birth, able to move around semi-normally and stand up and sit down without quite as much pain down there.  I did not have to have an episiotomy, but I did tear slightly and there were a few stitches which made the discomfort all that much worse.
• Contractions after birth.  That's right, you read it correctly...the contractions are most certainly not over after the baby is born.  I am not sure whether this is just for Moms who are breast feeding or not, but in the hospital they told me that was a good gauge of how to tell whether she was getting anything - my after-the-birth-contractions would be more painful when she was nursing (Everything is trying to get back to its normal place, and it happens more quickly I guess for nursing Moms?  This may or may not be medically correct - all I know is that there were still conractions and it had something to do with breast feeding, per the nurses.).  Now, these contractions were not nearly as bad as some of the ones leading up to birth, but quite a few times when Lilly was feeding or when I was pumping they were bad enough that I cried - as in, on a scale of 1-10, after the birth I was still having some 5s while nursing.  I never read one thing about that and was definitely not prepared for it in the least.
• The hormones.  I didn't really think I would be terribly hormonal, because overall I wasn't that hormonal during the whole pregnancy.  Of course I had my moments - more of them during the last 6 weeks (due to my arch nemesis, bed rest) than before - but overall I wasn't too bad (right, Dan?).  So, imagine my surprise that my hormones have been seriously out of control since Lilly's arrival.  All completely normal, I've been assured by my doctor, but again, I wasn't expecting to be quite as affected.  I feel like I cry at the drop of a hat these days.  Poor Dan! 

I think that's about it for the things I didn't know about the birthing process - if I think of any more I can come back and update.  Everything seriously goes by so quickly, and is so surreal.  It was amazing to me how I checked in on a Tuesday morning with no signs of any movement or labor and had a baby around 12 hours later.  And while the birth was not pleasant, it wasn't anything so terrible to the point of "I will never do this again ever, no matter what."  And seriously, this was worth every single bit of pain and suffering (and in the scheme of things there really wasn't that much pain and suffering...):

One more piece of advice that I can give: enjoy every moment, and above all, accept help.  Dan and I went through a phase where we thought, we'll let people come visit and help out for just a few days but then we'll kick everyone out so we can develop our own routine with our baby and get the hang of being Mommy and Daddy.  I will tell you right now that we threw that out the window almost immediately, and we are both so glad we did.  It was so nice to have our parents stay with us and help us for the first two weeks.  I cried at the end of the two weeks because I was terrified of being alone with Lilly sans help.  But you know what?  It hasn't been so bad.  :-)

I guess that's it for now - hope you've had a great Wednesday!  I can't believe it's Wednesday already.  I used to love Wednesday because it meant the halfway point to the weekend.  Now, I find myself wishing the days wouldn't go by so quickly.  I better go before the water works start. ;-)

Love!

Sarah

The Birth Story

I have made a promise to myself to try to continue to be good about blogging so that I have a record of all that's happening (did you know you can make blogs into books?!), but I am already so behind!  There are so many things from the past week that I want to document and share with you all, and Lilly is changing so much every day already.  Not to worry, I've been making a list, so hopefully I can get through it one topic at a time.  I have just been SO tired - sweet little newborns are a lot of work.  :-)  Fair warning: this is going to be long.  I was going to break it into two posts, but I figure once I get going  it will be easier to just finish.  I won't judge you if you don't stick around for the whole thing, ha!

So, I guess the last update I wrote left off just after the hospital called. To say I did not sleep at all Monday night is an understatement.  I was battling so many emotions: nervous about labor, nervous that baby girl would be okay even though she was early, excited about meeting her, excited to see what she looked like, nervous that Dan and I would have no idea what to do with a baby...the list goes on and on.  After the fact, Dan and I were saying that it is so funny how for 9 months you are so focused on the countdown to labor, what labor is going to be like, etc.  You don't really think about what happens after labor, which makes it all that much more surreal when it's over.

The hospital called around 6:00 a.m.  I had set my alarm for 6:00 and was hoping they would call early, because I didn't think my nerves could take a whole day of waiting.  Anyway, when I answered no one responded, so I hung up thinking they'd try again.  I gave them half an hour before calling back, and they asked us to be there at 7:30.  I hopped in the shower (had to make sure my legs were clean shaven because I am vain LOL) and we both ran around making absolutely sure we had everything ready to go.  Around 7:15 we were on our way.  The funny thing is, after all of the planning for this baby and the birth, etc., the one thing I forgot was music.  I wanted to record a lullaby album for the baby, which I never got around to due to bed rest.  Then I decided to make a playlist for us to listen to during labor, and somehow I kept forgetting.  We heard Ray Lamontagne's You Are The Best Thing played on the way to the hospital and actually it came on the youtube station Dan had playing in the hospital room several times during the day, so we figure that's Lilly's song.  I still really wanted a Bojangle's biscuit for breakfast, but I wasn't sure how things would go on top of the fact that I was battling nerves anyway, and I didn't want to vomit, so I played it safe and ate yogurt and fruit instead. 

We arrived to the hospital, checked in, and got settled in our room.  Since I'd been admitted several times before, I already knew some of the nurses, and I had been secretly praying that Rachel would be working and would be my nurse on the day of delivery.  When she walked into our room, I almost cried I was so happy.  I felt like the fact that she was my nurse and one of my two favorite doctors was on call that day was a sign from God that everything was going to be A-OK.  I later found out that she actually wasn't supposed to be my nurse - she was helping another patient first and was helping out another nurse by getting us settled, but once she saw that it was us she asked to switch.  I am SO beyond thankful.  She was absolutely incredible - everyone there was.  They started me on fluid and started running all kinds of labs before they started the pitocin.  One of my doctors came in, and I learned that the on-call doctor (my favorite) was sick, so someone else would be covering - to my pleasant surprise, it was my other favorite doctor.  Score another one.  They started the pitocin around 8:00 a.m.

One thing several people have asked me about is the epidural.  I honestly was not sure whether I wanted an epidural.  I really liked the idea of not having one, for a lot of reasons which I won't get into here or else this post will be the longest in the history of the world.  So really our birth plan was, let's play it by ear, see how it feels, and then make a decision.  All of my nurses warned me that the pitocin would make the contractions far worse than had my labor happened on its own, but I still wanted to wait and see.  I think I've talked several times before about the preeclampsia causing me to have really low platelets.  The only tricky thing here is that they will not give you an epidural if your platelets are below 100,000.  My labs from the morning came back and I was literally  barely above 100,000 - I made it just by the skin of my teeth.  The doctor later told me that likely the only reason I was above 100k was because it was first thing in the morning and I was dehydrated - had it been any later, I may not have made it.

Most of the rest of the day was just a waiting game. After checking my dilation (still at 1 cm), the doctor decided to insert an intrauterine catheter (IUPC) in addition to the pitocin to get things moving.  Basically, it would get me to somewhere between 3-4 cm dilated (hopefully pretty quickly) and then fall out when I was there.  The idea was to help move labor along.  The insertion was not a walk in the park, but it wasn't too painful.  I was still able to go to the bathroom, walk around to work through contractions, etc.  Dan and I spent the morning watching movies that we'd brought thanks to a Facebook suggestion (How To Train Your Dragon and Wedding Crashers), watching TV, listening to music on the iPad, texting back and forth with friends, playing Words With Friends, etc. 

I wasn't paying too much attention to the time, but I think the IUPC finally fell out somewhere around lunch time - maybe a little before.  The pitocin was increased in amount every 30 minutes.  I'd made it to somewhere between 3-4 cm and was trying not to get too excited about my progress, which turned out to be a good thing because things were slow from there - my body had to catch up to the progress the IUPC had helped me make.  The doctor came in to check on me and said based on the way things were moving, we may have a baby on Tuesday but it would be pushing it, and not to be disappointed if it were Wednesday when we had her.  It is very common for first births that are induced and early to take a long time - a lot of times more than 24 hours, even - with multiple hours of pushing.  So, Dan and I went back to what we were doing. 

I need to add here that starting basically at 9:00 I was starving. I just knew I should have eaten Bojangles instead of stupid yogurt.  I was allowed to have popsicles and clear liquids, and I'd invested in quite a few varieties of Valentine's lollipops (the watermelon Jolly Rancher ones ended up being my favorite), so I snacked on those, but all day I dreamt of pizza and a Diet Coke.  I was mostly in the bed, but walked around some and also spent some time on the birthing ball.  My contractions were pretty strong - they ask you to rate them on a scale of 1-10 and I made it through some 7s and 8s - and we were just working through them as they came.  They were pretty frequent due to the constant increase of pitocin. 

Also, one detail I left out was that when my contractions started, for the first several, the baby's heartbeat dropped really low, as in pretty much dropped off the monitor.  The nurse told us that it was normal for this to happen a few times during labor, but when it happened more than that they got concerned.  It happened enough with baby girl that they told me if it kept up we were going to have to get the baby out via c-section immediately.  Luckily, it steadied itself and things ended up being okay, but it was a source of worry for a little while.

Sometime after lunch - maybe around 2:00? - I was still stuck at 3cm.  So to speed things up even further, they decided to go ahead and break my water.  It wasn't painful and didn't take long at all.  Some people say that they experience a gush and some people experience more of a trickle.  Mine was kind of in between - at first, it was a trickle, and then later on there were a few gushes.  Really it just felt like I was peeing on myself. 

After they broke my water, things progressed really quickly.  The doctor came in several times to check, and said we still may have the baby today but it might be pushing it, and that it was more likely that we'd have her in the early hours on Wednesday.  I made it through two more hours of really intense and painful contractions after my water was broken (8 hours total sans epidural) before thinking about an epidural.  On one hand, I'd made it this far, I may as well keep going.  On the other hand, we'd been at it so long that I was already so tired, and I knew I needed to conserve my energy for pushing, whenever that may be.  I was torn and kept putting it off, but eventually Rachel made the decision for us.  She said that we were getting to the point where it had been so long since my platelets were checked that the anaesthesiologist would want to re-check them before giving me an epidural.  She said that the doctor agreed that I would probably be below 100,000 if they were to check again, and she didn't want me to be disappointed if I asked for one later and couldn't get it, so if I wanted one, now was the time to ask.  I decided that I was proud of myself for making it so far - much longer without the epidural than I thought I'd make it - and that it was time to get one. 

I need to interject here that epidurals are glorious.  While I would have loved to be able to say I did it without one, I swear it was amazing and one of my better decisions - so glad I got it.  It feels weird going in, and maybe slightly painful, but was nothing compared to the pain of the contractions.  The hardest part was sitting still through the monster contractions I was having while he gave it to me so that he didn't miss and paralyze me (I'm not really sure that could actually happen, all I know is he kept saying it was imperative that I not move, and I wanted to ask him had he ever felt a contraction or birthed a child and did he know how impossible that was going to be).

I guess all of this was around 4:30.  I could still feel contractions and was starting to feel just a ton of pressure in my nether regions in general, and by looking at the monitor we could tell that the contractions were really close together.  A check right after the epidural was given told us that I was up to 5cm dilated - halfway there, but still a long way to go.  I passed the time trying to rest and visiting with family who had arrived (my Mom and Dad came Tuesday night so they got to the hospital around 9, and then my mother and father-in-law and my sisters arrived sometime after lunch).  I was so disappointed, because even though the doctor thought it would be a late night, I was secretly hoping I would have the baby before Rachel's shift ended at 7:00.  I just really really loved her and was so comfortable with her, and was hoping she would be there for the labor.  She checked me around 6:00 and said, "Holy cow, you are not going to believe this, guess how far along you are?"  I guessed 6 cm...I was 9, and she went to call the doctor.  I was a nervous (and excited) wreck.

From there things flew.  I literally went from 3cm to 9 cm in not much time at all.  I could feel that my epidural was wearing off some, but they like for you to be able to feel to push so they'd backed it off on purpose and I didn't think too much about it.  After Rachel called the doctor, she told me that there was still some fluid that hadn't broken and it was the only thing that was standing between me and baby, so would I mind trying to push a little through the next few contractions to see if we could break it?  Nope, let's do it.  So we pushed. And the fluid came out.  And before we knew it, we were pushing for baby.

I will try to spare some of the gory details, but pushing lasted around 40 minutes.  We were very lucky from what I understand - a lot of induced first-time laborers push for hours.  I will say that the 40 minutes of pushing felt more like 12 hours.  I was so. tired. and my epidural had worn almost completely off.  Dan was incredible during the whole process.  He walked me through it, held my hand, held my legs, told me how proud he was of me and how great I was doing - he really is one of the best things that's ever happened to me.  Side note: remember how I told you I tried to set a rule that he wasn't allowed below the waist during labor because I didn't want him to not ever look at me the same?  Well that all went out the window, as those of you who know Dan know that he is very curious.  He was all up in my business the entire time, asking questions and telling me what was going on.  In the end my modesty disappeared anyway because I felt like the whole hospital had seen my lady parts, so I gave up on caring.

We pushed and pushed, and I was exhausted and the doctor still wasn't there (he had 3 other patients in labor the same day).  I was in some pain, and quite a few times sobbed hysterically and told Dan I didn't think I could do it.  He and Rachel were wonderful, assured me that I could, and so contraction after contraction we pushed (in the interest of length I will do a different post on "things I didn't know about labor" sometime this week).  At one point, I actually had to stop pushing to wait on the doctor to arrive.  We also went through a shift change - it was time for Rachel to leave.  She actually stayed in the room with us until the end even though she was off and was no longer my nurse.  I swear I love her, and was so much more comfortable and happy because of her.  Anyway, so the doctor took his sweet @$$ time, and at this point baby girl feels like she's halfway out (she wasn't, but it felt like it) and I am just having to sit there and wait.  He finally got there, took his sweet time some more getting ready, and before I knew it we were pushing again and then we had a baby.

Everything after that seems like a blur.  At one point I remember Dan saying to me that he could see her, and the doctor telling me to look down.  Sure enough, there she was - they told me that we would have a baby in one or two more contractions.  By this time I was excited and exhausted and emotional and I was NOT waiting for two more sets, so I put on my big girl panties and did some extra pushes and prayed I wouldn't pass out from it.  Baby girl made her debut at 7:35 p.m. and wasn't even crying - she was so serious (and still is)!  She just looked around like she was trying to take everything in until the doctor made her cry to ensure that her lungs worked - and I can assure you that they do, based on my experiences with her when she's hungry.  We wanted to hold her instead of sending her straight to be cleaned up, so she camped out on my chest for the next 30 minutes or so and I don't think I have ever been so happy.

I did have a small tear that needed to be stitched (sorry boy readers), but did not have an episiotomy.  Thank the Lord, because the epidural had worn off and I'm sure that wouldn't have been pleasant.  They had to do some serious numbing to stitch me up, but by this time the most beautiful baby girl in the whole world was snuggling on my chest, and I didn't care what they were doing down there.  Dan and I were very emotional, and watching him with her made me fall even more in love, if possible.  He is an incredible man and has been an incredible husband to me, and I know he is going to be the best daddy to our little girl. 

Another item to note: my blood pressure.  It was up and down all day, which was pretty typical of what was happening while I was on bed rest due to the preeclampsia.  It was more high than low - in fact, at one point during a contraction it was 185/110.  They monitored it very carefully and luckily we didn't have to do anything drastic.  I am happy to report that starting immediately after Lilly's birth and for the remainder of our stay, my blood pressure was completely normal.  The last time they checked it before we checked out, it was 125/75, woot!  It will be interesting to see what happens during the next pregnancy, whenever that may be.

One last part of the story and I'll stop boring you!  A few minutes after she was born, the nurse asked me what her name was.  We had narrowed it down to four and had decided we'd wait and meet her before making a final decision.  I told the nurse I didn't know and asked Dan what he thought.  Background: my paternal grandmother's name was Lillian.  I've always loved the name, and for as long as I can remember have wanted to name my daughter Lillian.  My grandmother didn't like her name, and Dan heard her say that several times while she was living, so he was hesitant about the name.  I think the reason we couldn't agree on a name sooner is that I have been secretly holding out hope for Lillian for months.  I love all of the names we chose - but none as much as Lillian.  So, in response to my question, Dan said, "I think we have a name."  I said, we do?  What is it?  And he said, "well she's pretty stubborn just like your grandma was."  And I cried.  A lot.  We waited a few more minutes on the middle name, because we couldn't decide between Grace, Mary and Marie (Mary and Marie are both family names on both sides).  In the end, Dan liked Grace the best, so Lillian Grace Baum it was.  If you care what our other choices were, they were Grace as a first name, Lucy (people are going to think we only like "L" names), and Sophia (we would have called her Sophie).  The middle name with any of those would have been Mary or Marie.

So, that's my story - I hope I didn't leave anything out.  I almost blogged from the hospital but didn't want to do so on my iPhone.  I am so in love with this little girl - more in love than I ever even thought possible. More in love with her, more in love with my husband, and happier than I think I have ever been.  Who knew your heart could be so big?  She is beautiful and perfect and Dan and I keep saying to each other that we can't believe we made her.  Lilly, you are by far the best thing we have ever done.

That's all for now - sorry if there are typos or if I rambled in this one, I am too tired to proofread.  I am going to try to rest before the midnight feeding, but I hope you all have a great Monday!  I will leave you with two pictures of my sleepy, snuggly girl to tide you over until I upload more:

Sarah