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Monday, April 2, 2012

Baby Blues

I don't think I posted on this topic in conjunction with my birth story posts, but I probably should have.  Honestly it didn't cross my mind, but the other day I got an e-mail about it which prompted a discussion between Dan and I that I thought was interesting.

The baby blues are a tricky thing.  At least in my case, I spent 9 months preparing for this baby to come.  I was beyond happy, and SO excited to meet her.  I could not wait to be a mother and was thrilled at the thought of our future and the growth of our sweet little family.  The day Lilly was born was one of the best days of my entire life, hands down.  However, the laboring process itself brings a roller coaster of emotions, and when coupled with your already crazy hormones it can be pretty intense.  I noticed that a few days after she was born, when we were home from the hospital and trying to get settled in, I kept having this nagging feeling of sadness.  I couldn't figure it out.  I had absolutely nothing to be sad about.  I had a relatively easy labor, and I had the most beautiful (and healthy!) little girl in the whole world.  My wonderful husband was beside me every step of the way, and I was more in love with him than ever before after seeing his interactions with our baby girl.  We have the most loving and supportive families that anyone could ask for, and they were here to help us every step of the way.

I think the baby blues are a result of several factors.  For me, these were a combination of:  hormones, exhaustion, disappointment resulting from breast feeding difficulties, disappointment that I birthed a child but still looked pregnant, the stress of a newborn and the balancing act of baby and life in general.  I also missed being pregnant.  I don't think it was the actual being pregnant part - Lord knows I did not miss weeks 30 and on (bed rest, ugh!) - but it was more the feeling of Lilly growing inside of me.  And really, I think I also missed the excitement and anticipation that Dan and I shared leading up to her arrival.

For me, the baby blues only lasted a few days.  I found that going about my business and trying to get back into the swing of things helped a lot.  Showering, getting dressed, and getting out of the house even for just a few minutes did wonders.  I also had to lower the bar for myself and stop being a perfectionist.  Parenting is a learning process, and there is a lot of trial and error.  I know that in giving me the ability to bear children, the Good Lord is trying to teach me to be more patient and less hard on myself.  I also needed to boost my own self-confidence.  All of the help we had was invaluable, but just the thought of my Mom leaving and me being alone had me in tears daily, even when she still had a full week left with us.  It really took me doing it on my own for a few days before I felt like, "Okay, I can do this.  I know what I'm doing, I know what my baby needs, and I know how to take care of her better than anyone else can."  And some days, I just needed a good cry.

Baby blues are another one of those topics which I don't think people really talk about, but I wish they would.  I had no idea that what I was feeling was normal and that the majority of women experience it.  Since I now know, I thought it was important to share.  :-)  And, really, how could I ever let the blues hang around when I get to look at this sweet face every day?!?!

More obnoxious plugging: have you voted for us on top baby blogs today?  Please and thank you!  ;-)


1 comment:

  1. It's so inspiring to read your story, I'm sure this is a very common occurrence in the majority of women but very few speak out. Your story will help many others, it's always nice to know there are other people out there in the same situation :) My husband and I are expecting our first in October and I love reading your blog and seeing what we have to look forward too!!


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