Soooooooo this happened.

originally written on May 30*

Yup.  I am starting all over with the super secret blog posts...at least for a few weeks until I can publish them.  

I'm sure we will get this question a lot, so I'll just go ahead and address the elephant in the "room": no, it was not "planned," per se.  I say "per se" because it wasn't really not planned either, if that makes sense.  Obviously, we knew it was a possibility, I just mean that this timing was not what we thought it would be.  Let me back up.

It seems like once your oldest child turns one, the only way people can think to start a conversation is, "So, are you ready for number 2?"  It's crazy because we always said we thought we wanted our kids to be pretty close together, and we thought we'd start "trying" again when Lilly turned one.  But then Lilly turned one, and we changed our minds.  She was such a good, easy (for the most part) baby, and she was becoming so. much. fun.  Don't get me wrong, she's normally fun and I've enjoyed every stage with her, but right around the time she turned one (maybe a little before), it's like she grew up overnight and was able to start interacting with us and we have just been having a blast.  In addition to that, since I didn't stop nursing until L was almost 13 months old, I wanted my body to myself for at least a few months.  I was just telling some girlfriends last week that due to all of the above, for the first time in my life I didn't really have a "plan" (those of you who know me will understand that this is extremely abnormal) in place related to timing for Baby Baum number two.  In recent weeks, Dan and I had just started having the conversation of "when” (literally, we’d maybe discussed it twice), and decided that maybe we'd start trying somewhere in the fall/early winter and shoot for a late summer/early fall 2014 baby (at the earliest).  I am here to tell y'all that the Lord had different plans for the Baum Squad, and we are so excited!

I didn't really have much of a reason to take a test this morning other than the fact that I have just been feeling weird - that's the best way I can describe it.  TMI alert here - I am late for my period, but by only a few days, and honestly that is totally normal for me - my cycle is so crazy that sometimes I'm “late” by 2-3 (and sometimes many more) weeks.  For whatever reason, though, something told me to take a test this morning.  I assumed I was overreacting as usual, until those two lines showed up mid-stream.  Seriously, hadn't even finished peeing on the stick before it was positive.  I think I was in a state of shock for the rest of the day.  Things were crazy at work, so I was distracted, but I still can't believe I kept it to myself all day.  I was so desperate to tell SOMEONE and was tempted all day to text Dan the photo of the test, but I stayed strong (secrets are SO HARD!!!).  

Speaking of announcing the news to my Baby Daddy (he was already at work when I took the test), I wanted so badly to do something cute to let him know that I'm once again, as he says, “knocked up.”  My original plan was to try to keep it a secret until Father's Day, which I thought was only two weeks away.  Then reality hit...he would for sure notice me not drinking wine (oh, how I will miss wine again).  Additionally, I thought he may want to go to my first doctor appointment since I'll have an ultrasound, and that is currently scheduled for June 12 (before Father's Day).  Plan B was to have Lilly in a "big sister" shirt when he got home from work tonight and see how long it took him to notice (I know for a fact that it wouldn’t have taken long because my husband is extremely observant.).  I left work an hour early (didn't take a lunch) and went to four baby stores, and no one had any shirts like that (Why do stores not keep these in stock?!  All of the sales associates told me that on the rare occasion that they do have shirts like that, the shirts fly off the shelves, so you would think they’d keep them in stock.  Nope.).  Soooooo I had to improvise and be boring.  We came to Charlotte tonight for the weekend because Katy has two baby showers, so I just put the positive test stick in Dan's suitcase and he found it when was packing.  His reaction was priceless.  I heard a lot of exclamations coming from upstairs...he was very surprised, of course, and came flying down the stairs for a hug and a kiss and to tell me how excited he is.  So sweet, that man.

I am already wrestling with a tad bit of anxiety/Mommy guilt.  Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic about this pregnancy.  I know that we are so blessed, and I cannot wait to get my hands on Baby Baum 2.0, but I found myself worrying today about whether we've had enough time with just Lilly.  Poor Baby Baum 2.0 (Knowing my husband like I do, I'm sure there will be a better nickname before too long!) won't get any alone time, and plenty of people have children much closer together than 24 months, but still.  Not to mention, what are we going to do with two kids?  And where are we going to put them?!  What can I say?  Worrying is my thing.

Anyway, that's all for now.  I wanted to write everything while it was fresh, for "baby book" purposes.  I will try my hardest to be diligent about pregnancy updates like I was with L (Finding the time will be another issue all together, oy!).  I can't wait to see what is in store for our little family!

Sarah