Today was a day I have been dreading and trying not to think about ever since I went out on maternity leave: my return to work. I can honestly say that I wasn't sure whether I'd ever want to stay at home with my children, but I loved spending getting to spend my days with sweet Lilly so much! I have loved hanging out with her, watching her grow and change every day. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've been trying to figure out ways not to go back to work for two weeks - I don't want to miss one second, and I feel like I'll miss so much during the days when I don't see her.
I didn't sleep at all last night, even though I was exhausted from our exciting weekend - my stomach was in knots. Lilly must have been tired, too, because she slept for almost 12 hours last night, yay L! I got up this morning and went to the gym and then came home and got ready for work, and she did not wake up until I was walking out the door at 8:15. I didn't get to nurse her and spend a lot of time with her before I left because I wanted to let her sleep as long as possible, and honestly it may have been better that way. I made it through most of the morning without any tears, but when she woke up the water works started. I snuggled her for a few minutes, and she and Dan walked me out to the car and I just sobbed the whole way. I managed to compose myself to walk into work, but indulged myself in a few short cries throughout the day. When I got to my desk, I was greeted with this sweet picture from my manny (man nanny aka Dan):
The morning flew by, I was so busy on several conference calls, getting settled and just generally getting back into the swing of things. I had a nice surprise at lunch time when Dan brought Lilly to see me. I'd brought my lunch so we had a picnic at my desk.
I cried again after she left, but I knew I didn't have much longer until I'd get to go home and love on Lilly and tell her how much I missed her all day. The afternoon, like the morning, went by pretty quickly, and before I knew it, it was 4:30 and time for me to head home to relieve Dan so that he could go to his meeting. The funniest part of the day was trying to coordinate a schedule for the pumping room with my two other co-workers who have babies close in age to L. I've been spoiled the past few weeks with Lilly nursing and I forgot how much I hate pumping.
Today was hard, as I'm sure tomorrow and the rest of the days of this week will be. Rumor has it that leaving Lilly every day will get easier. I think having Dan at home with her today and my Mom tomorrow and most of Wednesday will greatly help me in the transition. I'll report back in a later post on childcare. When I got home, Dan left to go to his meeting and L and I got to have a long talk about what she and Daddy did all day (sorry about the gross pooping at the very beginning!):
We hung out for the rest of the night and my bestie brought us dinner. That's why she's my bff, y'all. She brought dinner because she said that she wanted me to get to spend time with Lilly instead of having to worry about cooking dinner on my first day away from her. That's the definition of a best friend if I've ever heard it. And it was the best dinner ever - home made chicken & dumplings, green beans & yeast rolls. Can't wait to eat it again tomorrow for lunch. :-)
Hope you all had a great Monday! Here's to hoping the rest of the week gets easier by the day - and to making a conscious effort to find time to blog! Don't forget to vote for us today!
Sarah
Your baby is cute! We just had our little girl on March 12! Congrats and good luck back at work!
ReplyDeleteHS
I'm already dreading my return to work and I've still got another couple of weeks before I even go on maternity leave! Sounds like you're doing great though. I've heard it does get easier, and I'm sure it will. Glad Dan was there to watch L today. I think it would've been a harder first day if you had to drop her off somewhere.
ReplyDeleteSo so cute! I hope each day gets easier. What a great friend Steph is? Do you think she can come to Charleston and cook for me;)
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