Friday, March 9, 2012

Mama Bear

The inner mama bear was out in full force yesterday.  Well every day, really, but yesterday I truly wanted to hurt someone.  Why, you ask?  Because we had a "first," but NOT the good kind.  Yesterday, I had to take my baby to the doctor for her first sick visit, at a mere 6 weeks old.

This fact in itself thoroughly annoys me, because we have worked SO hard to follow doctor's orders.  The pediatrician told us not to take her in public (germs!) for 2-3 months, and by gosh we have not left this house.  Which has been even worse for me, considering I really have not left this house since Week 30 of pregnancy (stupid bed rest).  You can ask anyone that's come to visit, I am a hand washing nazi - and don't you dare get near my child unless I've physically seen you wash your hands.  So the fact that she's sick makes me feel like a terrible parent.  Obviously I know I couldn't have done anything to prevent this aside from not let anyone in the house until she was 2 months old, and it would have happened sooner or later anyway, but 6 weeks is just so early to already be sick, and my little baby is so pitiful that it breaks my heart.

Lilly woke up yesterday morning congested.  Normally I would not think anything of this - I guess her room must be a little dry or something because most mornings she wakes up a little congested.  In fact, I even specifically asked the pediatrician about this at her one-month check up, whether I needed to have her humidifier on full time or not, and she said no, that it was normal.  Yesterday, however, L was much more congested than normal.  I still may not have thought anything of it except the poor baby had this gunk running from her eyes, and that definitely hasn't happened before.  I called and left a message for the nurse just asking what I should do, if I needed to bring her in, etc.  We had our first experience with the rectal thermometer, which went better than expected, and thankfully Lilly didn't have a fever.  The pediatrician asked that we go ahead and come in anyway since Lilly is so young - they didn't want to chance it (this is where I feel like the worst parent in the world again).

The visit itself was pretty harmless.  I will say that they weighed her - with her clothes on, after a feeding, and with a full diaper - and she weighed 11 pounds!  My little chunkster!  The doctor came in and examined her and said the poor thing has her first cold.  Unfortunately there's not much we can do for it other than let it run its course, so she told us to make sure to use the humidifier in Lilly's room until the cold is gone, and to use a saline spray in her nose and then suction out her little boogies every 3-4 hours until she's better.  Thankfully, I had some Little Noses that was sent to us recently by a good friend, and it seems to be helping, at least a little.

I have worried sick about the child all night, I think I have been in her room at least 5 times to make sure she's still breathing.  The doctor said that at this stage, babies can't yet breathe out of their mouths unless they're crying, so if she's crying that may be why.  Lilly has been a really trooper throughout all of it, she really has not cried at all.  She slept from 9:30p - 2:30a and probably would have slept a little longer but we went in and got her as soon as she started making noise so we could suction her nose since it had been a while.  She was SO happy - she let Dan suction her without making a sound, and didn't even cry at the diaper change.  In fact, she was smiley and perfect.  Why was Dan up with us, you ask?  Typically, I don't ask him to get up with me except on the weekends when he doesn't have to work (he feeds, I pump), but I made an exception this time because I, too, have this nasty cold.  The pediatrician says that's actually probably a good thing because I'm producing antibodies to fight it which Lilly is getting through my breast milk, but honestly last night I did not think I was going to make it.  I went to bed when she did, in case it was going to be a long night - I anticipated lots of waking up and tears from her not being able to breathe - and I had the chills and couldn't get rid of them, and my throat hurt so bad every time I swallowed that I wanted to cry.  Anyway so I was still feeling a little unsteady at the 2:30 feeding and Dan was nice enough to help me out, sweet man.

So, we're going to spend today trying to nurse my little one back to health.  I foresee lots of snuggling on the couch in our future.  If she is as happy all day as she was at her overnight feeding, I think we will do just fine.  Until then, whoever brought this sickness into my house and infected my baby better be thanking your lucky stars that I don't know who you are, because Mama Bear is NOT HAPPY that you got her precious angel baby bear sick.

I can't end the post without saying Happy 4th Birthday to my first-born, Layla.  You have brought us so much joy, and we love you so much, sweet girl!  I wonder if she's looking forward to her annual dog birthday cake and new toys?  :-)

Sarah

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