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Thursday, December 1, 2011

Pregnancy Brain...Part Deux

I am quite possibly the worst mother in the whole world.  Okay, perhaps that is really slightly dramatic, but whatever.  Pregnancy brain reared its ugly head this morning and ruined my whole day.  Sigh.

We had our last daycare tour scheduled for this morning.  At least I think it was the last one - after reviewing our positions on all of the waiting lists I am wondering if we need to visit a few more for good measure.  Anyway that's beside the point.  So this daycare is pretty popular and I guess partly due to demand and partly due to the fact that it's probably easier, they set up group tours.  You can schedule an individual tour if the group tour dates won't work, but they like to try for group tours if at all possible.  We sent in a check and application to secure our place on the waiting list last month, but Dan had a conflict with November's tour so we signed up for December's, which was this morning.

This daycare is downtown and literally 5 minutes from our house, so I decided that working from home this morning and then heading to the office after the tour would be a much better use of my time than driving back and forth.  The hilarious thing to remember about this situation is that when Dan was leaving to go to work, he said, "Okay so the tour is at 11?"  And I said, "Nope it's at 10.  I'll leave the house at 20 til and swing by your office and pick you up on the way in and we'll go together."  Cool.  Details worked out, check.

So, I settled down to work on the couch while Layla was being extra sweet and cuddly and trying to wriggle her way around the computer into my lap...sorry sister, doesn't work with this belly of mine.  I'd left my phone upstairs and didn't have it with me, but I had plenty of time.  At several points throughout the morning, I actually thought to myself,
"perhaps I should go get my phone just in case someone is trying to get in touch with me..." but then I got busy working on scheduling for our office and promptly forgot.  Somehow between Dan leaving for work and me getting caught up in scheduling, I had in my mind that the visit was at 11, not 10.  At 10:30, I started shutting down my computer to get my lunch together so I could leave to go get Dan and catch the tour.  I literally still did not realize that I was already half an hour late for the tour until I grabbed my phone on my way out the door and saw that Dan had called me 5 times.

To say that I went into a state of hysterics would be the understatement of the century.  Hormones were raging, tears were pouring, and I hyperventilated so much that I threw up.  Not kidding.  No matter what I did, I could not stop the water works.  The joys of estrogen!  I called Dan, and he had made it to the tour, and said it was almost over.  I got in the car and went to the daycare anyway, thinking I could at least introduce myself to the director, but was still in such a state by the time I got there that it would NOT have been good news to go inside.  She probably would have moved the crazy lady and her nice husband down to the bottom of the waiting list on principle.  All the way to work and even when I got to work, still hysterical.  As I type this I am tearing up again - Lord help us all!  I kept wailing and saying, "I am a terrible motherrrrrrrr..."

The good news is,  not only is it not the end of the world that I missed the tour, but Dan was able to attend and really liked the facility (he actually thought I'd fallen asleep, ha!).  He said that it was a lot like the daycare that was currently #1 on our "love" list.  The difference is, the one from today only takes children until they're 2, where as the other one we love keeps them until they go to Kindergarten.  I'm sure there are pros and cons to both scenarios, but having two that we really love and a third that we like a lot and would not be unhappy with is a good problem to have, I think.  Additionally, the one today is the least expensive of the a good amount.  One other downside is that we're 19th on the waiting list for only 6 slots.  HOWEVER, the Director told Dan that it really doesn't mean anything - we really could still get in.  She said, like all of the others, that we will need childcare starting at the best possible time - most people on the list need it earlier or later and will either go elsewhere or have to pass until their baby is born, so there's still a chance we'll get in.  I guess we'll see!  We have not started looking into the possibility of nannies at all, so that is next on our list - after interviewing pediatricians!

I am here to tell you that having a flare for the dramatic on top of all of these extra hormones is giving me a run for my money!  I honestly have not had many breakdowns to date - have actually tried to make a conscious effort not to go all crazytown for the sake of my marriage - but this particular meltdown was by far the worst and most hilarious yet.  Dan called to check on me several times to make sure I was OK, sweet man.

Hope this brought a little laughter to your Thursday!!!


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